Boring

This may be the most boring blog in history.....sorry. Nothing really to report. Had a good trip on the Arcadia. Mind you had a terrible moment during my show when I go down into the audience and say to someone as Jolson..... "are you enjoying yourself....Yes? well why don't you tell your face about it" Ok old gag but I couldn't see who I was saying it to until I was right next to him (lights) and he wasn't a well person. I was gutted. I apologised profusely after the show but the boys mother wasn't happy. I sent them flowers. To make matters worse after the show there were a few people standing outside the theatre and asked if I had any chutney for sale (its a gag I do about merchandising) and I said I had sold out but I had some Stenna chair lifts left...... the lady who asked said she didn't think it was very funny..... as she limped away. Who says comedy is easy.
I'm going on the Aurora tomorrow and then I've got a bit of time at home while I do a couple of corporate shows. Jane is very busy with the Streisand tour and she starts travelling in June and July all over Europe so we will have a well earned holiday in August in LA. Told you it was boring. Sorry Michael and Catherine haven't meantioned you for a while. (Hows the dwarf business.) My sister is having all her teeth out and a new bathroom put in......
bye
Allan

Ok! Ok!

Ok! sorry readers, I have been rebuked for not updating. Right, so I had a great week at Ayr. I wasn't sure if I could sustane a one man show, (well it wasn't quite one man as I had the Tenna Ladies dancing with Aunty May) but I am pleased to say it worked. I opened on the Wednesday and I wasn't completely pleased with the graph and running order of the show, so I changed it on Thursday and it all came together. I have to say by the end of the second show on Saturday (I did 5 o'clock and 8) I was shattered. It meant I was on stage for almost 4 hours. It was worth it though as I really enjoyed myself. Everyone at the Gaiety were lovely as usual and I'd really like to thank Pamela and Amanda for all their hard work. Richard Anderson and his orchestra were fantastic. Thanks guys.
So what excuse can I give for cancelling the Adam Smith centre...... basically it wasn't busy. Actually I think Barbara Streisand took all the business as she announced her concert in London this week and the tickets were £600 each. So most of the Kircaldians decided to go there instead of my show. Anyway sorry Kircaldians, its your fault as you wouldn't get off your fat arses to come and see me.
I performed the song "Jane Jane " which was written for me by Gerard Kenny. Its a fantastic song he wrote about the story of meeting my wife Jane. Gerard has always been one of my favourite song writers and its a great honour to have this song specially written for me. I have 10 days at home now which is wonderful. The weather is great and although Jane is working all hours in the day on the Streisand tour its just nice to sit down at night and have dinner together. I am off to Monte Carlo next Wednesday to the Arcadia, so thats us up to date. Still pissed off with British Airways in fact I'm considering sueing them for misrepresentation. If I don't write soon its becuase life has become mundane and you probably would fall asleep reading my blog.
Bye